Monday, December 31, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Baby It's Cold Outside - Han/Leia Star Wars Vid
Another of myfangirl vids - see what happens when you're a nerd, you're bored and you have a computer. Merry Christmas!
The Worst Christmas Song of All Time!
"I hate, hate, hate, hate, HATE 'The Christmas Shoes'!" - my sister
There are many good Christmas songs out there. There's the religious ("Hark the Herald Angels Sing!"), the classics ("Silver Bells", "White Christmas", "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas"), the more modern ("Last Christmas", "Do They Know It's Christmas?", "Little Saint Nick", "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree", "Jingle Bell Rock") and the Muppet ("Sesame Street Christmas Pagent", their versions of "Twelve Days of Christmas"...."Five Gooooooolden Rings (ba-dum-dum-dum)" ).
Then there are the "meh" songs...the songs you don't like, but don't hate either (I'm not very partial to "The First Noel" myself). Exempt from this category are all holiday songs sung by Andy Williams ("Most Wonderful Time of the Year"? It is when Andy sings it! Sung by anybody else...meh)
And then there is the horror of "The Christmas Shoes" *shudder*
The schmatzy, sickly, so sweet it could cause diabetics major problems mess of a song.
But why? Why is this song so hated? Let us explore this mystery line by line.
Abandon all hope, yee who enter here:
It was almost Christmas time
There I stood in another line
Trying to buy that last gift or two
(eh, starts off OK enough...heck we've all been there...stuck in line, sick of the crowds)
I'm really in the Christmas mood
(and this is when we start to realize our narrator may be insane. He stuck in a line, braving the hell of last minute Christmas shopping and he's in a good mood!? Sleigh Bells, Tinsel, Lights, Carols...these do nothing for him, but standing in line...boy, that's just jolly for him! idiot)
Standing right in front of me
Was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing around like little boys do
(little boys do not pace. Business men in grey suits trying to close that deal pace. Little boys in shopping malls run around like crazy)
And in his hands he held
(a Nintendo Wii?)
A pair of shoes
(oh)
And his clothes were worn and old
He was dirty from head to toe
(oh, why don't you go ahead and pile it on now. Give him a limp and a cane and a cockney accent and end every sentence with "God bless us everyone" AND name him Tim already)
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn't believe what I heard him say
("I'll put it on my Visa Platinum")
Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time
You see, she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus, tonight.
(And it begins...OK, where to start? First of all, sorry about your Mom, kid. Tough break. But if she's on death's doorstep, then why are you wasting your time in a mall?!? How about, I don't know, spending some time with her instead? Imagine the scene later: "Where's Mom?" "I'm sorry Timmy, she dies when you were out...buying shoes! Too bad Tim, but hey - nice shoes!"
And the there's Dad. Where is he? Why did he send Timmy to buy the shoes? Does Timmy have better fashion sense?
And the kid "want's her to look beautiful for Jesus tonight". Hey kid, I don't know what yoy learned in Sunday School, but I don't think Jesus really cares what kind of shoes she has on. It seems more like you do and kid, I think Vanity is a sin, hmmm?)
They counted pennies for what seem like years
(and this is where the customers behind him in line start the revolt)
And cashier says son there's not enough here
("Too bad too, son. Just one penny short! But hey, them's the breaks")
He searches is pockets frantically
("There must be 500 more pennies hiding in here somewhere! Why, oh Why did I not dig through the couch!")
And he turned and he looked at me
(and thought, "Thanks god...it's the guy who sang 'Butterfly Kisses'! He'll be an easy mark for a sob story!")
And he said Momma made Christmas good at our house
Most years she just did without
(without what? And don't tell me shoes or I will shove those pennies up your...)
Tell me Sir
What am I gonna do?
Some how I’ve got to buy her these Christmas shoes
(fundraiser? shoplifting? taking an at-home cobbler course?)
So I layed the money down
(of course you did)
I just had to help him out
("Double or nothing kid? What do you say? Blackjack? Poker? What's your game? How much did you risk - all of it? Oooooo, too bad. Better luck next time kid. And don't gamble.")
And I'll never forget
The look on his face
When he said Momma's gonna look so great
("Dead, but great! At the funeral they'll all say, 'Oh it's all so tragic - but look at those shoes!' ")
Sir I wanna buy these shoes, for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time
You see, she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful,If Momma meets Jesus tonight.
(OK, second point of this chorus. Let's assume that since the kid loves his mother he bought her the most beautiful shoes in the store. Let's also assume that since Mom is close to death, she really isn't feeling 100%. Every woman knows that if a piece of clothing looks fabulous, it will feel Horrendous! "There is no beauty without pain" So now she feels like crap, her feet feel awful, but again - hey, looking good!)
I knew I caught a glimpse of heavens love as he thanked me and ran out.
(The miracle of shopping! Hosanna in the highest!)
I know that God had sent that little boy to remind me
("Sir, a man has lost the true meaning of Christmas!" "Send him SHOE BOY!")
What Christmas is all about
(Ummm...buying shoes? No, it's buying impractical shoes instead of spending time with loved ones! That's it, isn't it? "I will buy your love with gifts....sorry about all the meetings that Daddy had to go to when he missed your dance recitals princess - Here's a pony! Why? Well, I hears this song on the radio about a boy and his mom and shoes...")
Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
(How many little boys know their mom's shoe sizes. Most young kids don't even know their whole addresses)
Could you hurry Sir?
("Yeah, I know you're doing me a huuuuge favor, but move it jerk!")
Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus tonight
I want her to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus tonight
(Finally, let's suppose that despite all the valiant "shoe-effort" thus far, Mom dies. As she ascends to Heaven, will her thoughts be..."Boy, I'll miss my husband and son but I look terrible! How can I go to heaven looking like this?!? If only that kid had come back with those shoes in time..."
The End
But unfortunately, it wasn't. This song inspired someone to write a book based on the song...and then a TV movie based on the book...and then a sequel to the TV Movie based on the book based on the song. Starring Rob Lowe. And, I'm assuming, some rockin' shoes.
There are many good Christmas songs out there. There's the religious ("Hark the Herald Angels Sing!"), the classics ("Silver Bells", "White Christmas", "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas"), the more modern ("Last Christmas", "Do They Know It's Christmas?", "Little Saint Nick", "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree", "Jingle Bell Rock") and the Muppet ("Sesame Street Christmas Pagent", their versions of "Twelve Days of Christmas"...."Five Gooooooolden Rings (ba-dum-dum-dum)" ).
Then there are the "meh" songs...the songs you don't like, but don't hate either (I'm not very partial to "The First Noel" myself). Exempt from this category are all holiday songs sung by Andy Williams ("Most Wonderful Time of the Year"? It is when Andy sings it! Sung by anybody else...meh)
And then there is the horror of "The Christmas Shoes" *shudder*
The schmatzy, sickly, so sweet it could cause diabetics major problems mess of a song.
But why? Why is this song so hated? Let us explore this mystery line by line.
Abandon all hope, yee who enter here:
It was almost Christmas time
There I stood in another line
Trying to buy that last gift or two
(eh, starts off OK enough...heck we've all been there...stuck in line, sick of the crowds)
I'm really in the Christmas mood
(and this is when we start to realize our narrator may be insane. He stuck in a line, braving the hell of last minute Christmas shopping and he's in a good mood!? Sleigh Bells, Tinsel, Lights, Carols...these do nothing for him, but standing in line...boy, that's just jolly for him! idiot)
Standing right in front of me
Was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing around like little boys do
(little boys do not pace. Business men in grey suits trying to close that deal pace. Little boys in shopping malls run around like crazy)
And in his hands he held
(a Nintendo Wii?)
A pair of shoes
(oh)
And his clothes were worn and old
He was dirty from head to toe
(oh, why don't you go ahead and pile it on now. Give him a limp and a cane and a cockney accent and end every sentence with "God bless us everyone" AND name him Tim already)
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn't believe what I heard him say
("I'll put it on my Visa Platinum")
Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time
You see, she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus, tonight.
(And it begins...OK, where to start? First of all, sorry about your Mom, kid. Tough break. But if she's on death's doorstep, then why are you wasting your time in a mall?!? How about, I don't know, spending some time with her instead? Imagine the scene later: "Where's Mom?" "I'm sorry Timmy, she dies when you were out...buying shoes! Too bad Tim, but hey - nice shoes!"
And the there's Dad. Where is he? Why did he send Timmy to buy the shoes? Does Timmy have better fashion sense?
And the kid "want's her to look beautiful for Jesus tonight". Hey kid, I don't know what yoy learned in Sunday School, but I don't think Jesus really cares what kind of shoes she has on. It seems more like you do and kid, I think Vanity is a sin, hmmm?)
They counted pennies for what seem like years
(and this is where the customers behind him in line start the revolt)
And cashier says son there's not enough here
("Too bad too, son. Just one penny short! But hey, them's the breaks")
He searches is pockets frantically
("There must be 500 more pennies hiding in here somewhere! Why, oh Why did I not dig through the couch!")
And he turned and he looked at me
(and thought, "Thanks god...it's the guy who sang 'Butterfly Kisses'! He'll be an easy mark for a sob story!")
And he said Momma made Christmas good at our house
Most years she just did without
(without what? And don't tell me shoes or I will shove those pennies up your...)
Tell me Sir
What am I gonna do?
Some how I’ve got to buy her these Christmas shoes
(fundraiser? shoplifting? taking an at-home cobbler course?)
So I layed the money down
(of course you did)
I just had to help him out
("Double or nothing kid? What do you say? Blackjack? Poker? What's your game? How much did you risk - all of it? Oooooo, too bad. Better luck next time kid. And don't gamble.")
And I'll never forget
The look on his face
When he said Momma's gonna look so great
("Dead, but great! At the funeral they'll all say, 'Oh it's all so tragic - but look at those shoes!' ")
Sir I wanna buy these shoes, for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time
You see, she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful,If Momma meets Jesus tonight.
(OK, second point of this chorus. Let's assume that since the kid loves his mother he bought her the most beautiful shoes in the store. Let's also assume that since Mom is close to death, she really isn't feeling 100%. Every woman knows that if a piece of clothing looks fabulous, it will feel Horrendous! "There is no beauty without pain" So now she feels like crap, her feet feel awful, but again - hey, looking good!)
I knew I caught a glimpse of heavens love as he thanked me and ran out.
(The miracle of shopping! Hosanna in the highest!)
I know that God had sent that little boy to remind me
("Sir, a man has lost the true meaning of Christmas!" "Send him SHOE BOY!")
What Christmas is all about
(Ummm...buying shoes? No, it's buying impractical shoes instead of spending time with loved ones! That's it, isn't it? "I will buy your love with gifts....sorry about all the meetings that Daddy had to go to when he missed your dance recitals princess - Here's a pony! Why? Well, I hears this song on the radio about a boy and his mom and shoes...")
Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
(How many little boys know their mom's shoe sizes. Most young kids don't even know their whole addresses)
Could you hurry Sir?
("Yeah, I know you're doing me a huuuuge favor, but move it jerk!")
Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus tonight
I want her to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus tonight
(Finally, let's suppose that despite all the valiant "shoe-effort" thus far, Mom dies. As she ascends to Heaven, will her thoughts be..."Boy, I'll miss my husband and son but I look terrible! How can I go to heaven looking like this?!? If only that kid had come back with those shoes in time..."
The End
But unfortunately, it wasn't. This song inspired someone to write a book based on the song...and then a TV movie based on the book...and then a sequel to the TV Movie based on the book based on the song. Starring Rob Lowe. And, I'm assuming, some rockin' shoes.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Monday, December 17, 2007
At least the cat had fun...
Bathroom ceiling was leaking alllll weekend. I wasn't home. Clothes soaked. Mopping is not fun. Dragging wet clothes down to the laundry room is not fun. Dragging 5 loads of HEAVY wet clothes down to laundry room is not fun. Hoping things don't get all mildewy with that mildewy smell is not fun. Starting to smell mildewy smell and worrying about it is not fun.
Cat jumping in and out of empty laundry baskets...fun (for cat).
Cat jumping in and out of empty laundry baskets...fun (for cat).
Friday, December 14, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Kissing Suzy Kolber
My sister told me about this blog called Kissing Suzy Kolber. It's about football, but has a wicked sense of humor (as evidenced by its title - the infamous "drunk Joe Namath trying to kiss a reporter during a live tv interview" event). My favorite post so far is the open letter from Eli Manning. Check it out.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
That's enough for now
I think I overdosed you all on Daphne Rubin-Vega. Sorry, I just think she's great.
We'll move on now. So...how 'bout them Dodgers?
We'll move on now. So...how 'bout them Dodgers?
Monday, December 10, 2007
Friday, December 7, 2007
A place...where nobody dared to go...
Two really funny reviews on the web:
The first, from LaShawn Wanak at http://www.agonybooth.com/ , of the so-bad-it's...well, it's bad. The fantasy, roller-skating, disco dancing, musical train wreck that is Xanadu!
You know, this site is rapidly turning into Xanadu central. Must be careful about that.
Another funny review, this time of a TV show, is up at http://www.tvsquad.com/. If you're familiar with the site, you know that Wil Wheaton sometimes posts snarky reviews of Star Trek:The Next Generation at that site. His latest is a recap of Datalore. If you visit the site, be sure to check out some of his other reviews. All are filled with nice behind the scenes memories and snarkalicious observations of how truly bad the first season of ST:TNG was.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Sorry, Internet
In solidarity with the striking writers, all the adorable animals on the Internet are going on strike. From Colbert Report writers Frank Lesser and Rob Dubbin.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: Burning Questions
I watched Rudolph last night on CBS. Enjoyed it as always, but after watching it some nagging comments and questions popped into my mind. Let's explore:
Is Christmastown filled with d**ks?
Yes, yes it is. Donner is a jerk to Rudolph. The Boss elf is a jerk to Hermie. Santa is a huge jerk in that he:
1. Automatically counts Rudolph out (at birth!) from his sleigh team for having a red nose.
2. Acknowledges at the Reindeer Games that Rudolph is technically superior in flying, but still doesn't put him on the team!
3. Completely disses the elf song made especially for him!
4. Finally relents at the end and puts Rudolph on the sleigh team...but only because the addition of Rudolph helps him! If there wasn't a horrific storm that night, do you think Rudolph would be leading the sleigh? Huh?
Are Reindeers sexist?
Clarice is bullied by her father. "No daughter of mine is going to be seen with a red-nosed reindeer!" No daughter of mine...what is she, your daughter or your possession? And how about Donner's reaction to Mrs. Donner and Clarice wanting to help find Rudolph? "No, this is man's work!" Oh excuse me Donner, we'll just wait here and sew some curtains while the reindeer we love is out there lost. And what's with this "Mrs. Donner" crap? Give her a freakin' name!
Why is that doll on the Island of Misfit toys anyway?
We've got a boat that can't float, a bird that can't fly (he swims!), and a cowboy who rides...an ostrich! However, we also have a perfectly cute doll among these weirdos...why? Some sources claim that its because she's clinically depressed. My take? Nothing is wrong with her. She was a normal doll... but with dreams of stardom! She wanted to be the doll and thought she had the stuff, so she moved to Christmastown expecting her big break. Unfortunately, after getting there, she discovered that dozens of other dolls moved there too with the same dream and she just didn't stand out enough in the crowd to make it. Her dreams of stardom dashed (hence her quote: "I don't have any dreams left to dream!"), she set off for home...but ran out of gas money around the time she got to The Island of Misfit Toys. She decided to take on the identity of a misfit toy in hopes of hitching a ride home with Santa when he finally picked them up that Christmas Eve.
And about that misfit bird...
OK, his big thing was he couldn't fly, he swam, right? So why at the end, when the helper elf gives every misfit toy an umbrella to ensure a safe, happy landing after jumping out of Santa' sleigh on their way to a new home, the non-flying bird doesn't take one!!! Heck, even the cowboy riding the ostrich gets an umbrella! If you watch carefully, it looks like he is offered one, but jumps without it anyway. Maybe he was the one with psychological problems...
Is Christmastown filled with d**ks?Yes, yes it is. Donner is a jerk to Rudolph. The Boss elf is a jerk to Hermie. Santa is a huge jerk in that he:
1. Automatically counts Rudolph out (at birth!) from his sleigh team for having a red nose.
2. Acknowledges at the Reindeer Games that Rudolph is technically superior in flying, but still doesn't put him on the team!
3. Completely disses the elf song made especially for him!
4. Finally relents at the end and puts Rudolph on the sleigh team...but only because the addition of Rudolph helps him! If there wasn't a horrific storm that night, do you think Rudolph would be leading the sleigh? Huh?
Are Reindeers sexist?Clarice is bullied by her father. "No daughter of mine is going to be seen with a red-nosed reindeer!" No daughter of mine...what is she, your daughter or your possession? And how about Donner's reaction to Mrs. Donner and Clarice wanting to help find Rudolph? "No, this is man's work!" Oh excuse me Donner, we'll just wait here and sew some curtains while the reindeer we love is out there lost. And what's with this "Mrs. Donner" crap? Give her a freakin' name!
Why is that doll on the Island of Misfit toys anyway?We've got a boat that can't float, a bird that can't fly (he swims!), and a cowboy who rides...an ostrich! However, we also have a perfectly cute doll among these weirdos...why? Some sources claim that its because she's clinically depressed. My take? Nothing is wrong with her. She was a normal doll... but with dreams of stardom! She wanted to be the doll and thought she had the stuff, so she moved to Christmastown expecting her big break. Unfortunately, after getting there, she discovered that dozens of other dolls moved there too with the same dream and she just didn't stand out enough in the crowd to make it. Her dreams of stardom dashed (hence her quote: "I don't have any dreams left to dream!"), she set off for home...but ran out of gas money around the time she got to The Island of Misfit Toys. She decided to take on the identity of a misfit toy in hopes of hitching a ride home with Santa when he finally picked them up that Christmas Eve.
And about that misfit bird...OK, his big thing was he couldn't fly, he swam, right? So why at the end, when the helper elf gives every misfit toy an umbrella to ensure a safe, happy landing after jumping out of Santa' sleigh on their way to a new home, the non-flying bird doesn't take one!!! Heck, even the cowboy riding the ostrich gets an umbrella! If you watch carefully, it looks like he is offered one, but jumps without it anyway. Maybe he was the one with psychological problems...
And is it Hermie or Herbie?Beats me. I stay clear of dentists anyway.
Monday, December 3, 2007
26,200 LED Christmas Lights Dance To Star Trekin' Star Trek
His neighbors must love him...his power company, too.
Rudy (The Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer Story)
Rudolph's on tomorrow! "She thinks I'm cuuuute!!!" "I want to be a dentist!" etc. All hail the Red-nosed Reindeer!!!
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Which Star Trek Character Are You?
Unfortunately, I turned out to be a Redshirt. Oh well, at least my highest score wasn't Chekov.
"You are an EXPENDABLE CHARACTER (REDSHIRT). Since your accomplishments are seldom noticed, and you are rarely thought of, you are expendable.That doesn't mean your job isn't important but if youwere in Star Trek you would be killed off in the first episode you appeared in."
An Expendable Character (Redshirt) -60%
Uhura - 55%
Deanna Troi - 45%
Chekov - 40%
James T. Kirk (Captain) - 30%
Beverly Crusher - 30%
Geordi LaForge - 30%
Will Riker - 30%
Jean-Luc Picard - 25%
Leonard McCoy (Bones) - 20%
Worf - 20%
Mr. Scott - 15%
Spock - 14%
Data - 7%
Mr. Sulu - 5%
Take the quiz here.
Did I mention I support the writers?
Wil Wheaton posted this clip from YouTube made by UnitedHollywood on his blog (see the links to the side for a link to Wil's blog):
He also makes a the point that Carson Daily is still an epic douche.
Yes he is Wil...yes he is.
He also makes a the point that Carson Daily is still an epic douche.
Yes he is Wil...yes he is.
The Two-Hour Star Wars Holiday Special in only Five Minutes!
PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
...But I've Never Been Mellow
Share in my nostalgia...
I remember watching this on HBO in 1982 or 83 when I was 6 or 7. I held a tape recorder up to the tv and recorded this on cassette tape. I had that tape for ages. No good or bad judgements here on Ms. Newton-John, just fond childhood memories...fond, cheesy childhood memories (still, it's better than that High School Musical crap that the kids go for today).
PS. Check out the guy in the audience at the end - waaaaaaaaaaay too excited for an Olivia Newton-John concert!
I remember watching this on HBO in 1982 or 83 when I was 6 or 7. I held a tape recorder up to the tv and recorded this on cassette tape. I had that tape for ages. No good or bad judgements here on Ms. Newton-John, just fond childhood memories...fond, cheesy childhood memories (still, it's better than that High School Musical crap that the kids go for today).
PS. Check out the guy in the audience at the end - waaaaaaaaaaay too excited for an Olivia Newton-John concert!
Braver Men Than Me...
Two writers at Entertainment Weekly decided to watch every episode of Full House in order without a break. This is their story.
Internet TV
For those of you unaware of these sites, Channel 101 and 102 are websites that feature internet tv shows - mostly comedy. What happens is a someone (or a group of people) submit a "pilot". The pilot is then screened in a place in New York or LA (101 is one and 102 is the other and I'm too lazy to look up which is which right now). The audience then votes on which ones they like the best. If a show survives, it gets to make another episode on about a monthly basis. The audience votes again and the show keeps going on until it is "cancelled" (until it falls out of the top five).
One of my past favorites is "Yacht Rock" - the continuing story of "Michael McDonald", "Kenny Loggins" and others in their quest to produce the smooooth music of the 70's. My favorite episode is Episode 2 - it features a songwriting duel between McDonald/Loggins and Hall & Oates.
One of my new favorites is called "The Defenders of Stan" - whose premise is that the 98% of the world are superheroes - except for poor Stan. How does Stan deal with this? Not too well.
My favorite episode so far is Episode 4 - In a funny take-off on Superman:The Movie, Stan is sentenced(briefly) to The Phantom Zone.
One of my past favorites is "Yacht Rock" - the continuing story of "Michael McDonald", "Kenny Loggins" and others in their quest to produce the smooooth music of the 70's. My favorite episode is Episode 2 - it features a songwriting duel between McDonald/Loggins and Hall & Oates.
One of my new favorites is called "The Defenders of Stan" - whose premise is that the 98% of the world are superheroes - except for poor Stan. How does Stan deal with this? Not too well.My favorite episode so far is Episode 4 - In a funny take-off on Superman:The Movie, Stan is sentenced(briefly) to The Phantom Zone.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
"And that's what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown."
Charlie Brown Christmas is on tonight!
It is my third favorite Christmas special of all time (first being the afore-posted Muppet Family Christmas and second being Rudolph - but we'll get to him when he airs). As a kid, I thought Charlie Brown was kind of dull (get to the flying reindeer!), but as I grew older I appreciated this special much more...
It has a simple kind of joy to it...comfort TV. When Linus gives his speech and the gang fianlly realizes that Charlie's choice of Christmas Tree wasn't so bad after all, it's...well, it's sweet. It's nice. And at this time of the year, I'll let go of my cynicism, rationality, and sarcarstic outlook of life for at least a half and hour and believe in Linus's speech:
"And there were in the same country shepherds, abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them! And they were sore afraid ... And the angel said unto them, "Fear not! For, behold, I bring you tidings o great joy, which shall be to all my people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ, the Lord."
"And this shall be a sign unto you: Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger." And suddenly, there was with the angel a multitude of the Heavenly Host praising God, and saying, "Glory to God in the Highest, and on Earth peace, and good will toward men."
And that's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.
Monday, November 26, 2007
A Muppet Family Christmas (1987) Part 1 of 5
Rudolph and Charlie Brown are classics, but do they have a talking turkey?
I give you the best Christmas Special Ever! A Muppet Family Christmas.
Featuring:
-The Muppets, Sesame Street AND Fraggle Rock
And remember, be careful of the icey patch!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Support The Writers pt. 2
Here's a video made by the writers of The Colbert Report:
And here's a little one made by me. I blame my insanity on the stupid, greedy studio executives - I am Colbereft!
And here's a little one made by me. I blame my insanity on the stupid, greedy studio executives - I am Colbereft!
Not The Daily Show
With the Writers' Strike, this is the closest we might get to The Daily Show in a long time.
Support The Writers!
Friday, November 9, 2007
Random Observations
-Phrases I hate:
"Re-Imagining" - ex. In the re-imagining of Mission Impossible, Jim Phelps is the bad guy.
"Go Green" - ex. from this week's TV Guide summary for the Friday night episode of Las Vegas: "A pro-environment seminar is held at the Montecito, inspiring Delinda to go green."
-That reminds me. Let's play the game of "Is That Show Still On?":
Las Vegas
The Bachelor
America's Funniest Home Videos
and all three CSIs.
Sadly, yes.
"Re-Imagining" - ex. In the re-imagining of Mission Impossible, Jim Phelps is the bad guy.
"Go Green" - ex. from this week's TV Guide summary for the Friday night episode of Las Vegas: "A pro-environment seminar is held at the Montecito, inspiring Delinda to go green."
-That reminds me. Let's play the game of "Is That Show Still On?":
Las Vegas
The Bachelor
America's Funniest Home Videos
and all three CSIs.
Sadly, yes.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Thank You, Casting Gods...The Haggis Is On Me.
Ok, so I've been feeling a little down about my entertainment options. No new music I like...can't remember the last time I actually wanted to spend actual money to see an actual movie in an actual theater (actually, I do. It was Rob Zombie's remake of Halloween...what? I was curious)...and due to the Writers' Guild Strike no new Daily Shows or Colbert Reports for the forseeable future (are bears good or evil? It's getting a bit foggy....)
The other day, however, I opened up my copy of Entertainment Weekly and found out that the cast for the new Star Trek movie (the one being directed by J.J. Abrams - creator of Lost and Alias)has been finalized. I was intrigued:
Chris Pine as Kirk - Never heard of him. That could be either good (hey, who heard of Christopher Reeve before he made the first Superman either) or bad. I feel for the guy, though. He's got big shoes to fill...big, hammy shoes.
Zachary Quinto as Spock - Ok, I've watched Heroes. I could see this. On the plus side, I've read that he wanted this role as soon as he heard they were casting for it. I infer from this that he is a fan of Trek so it's nice to have someone who's passionate about the character take on the role. Plus, he's a good enough sport to have guested on The Soup.
Karl Urban as Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy - Eomer from Lord of the Rings as Bones? Ummmmmm, Okaaaay? Personally, even though he's too old for this re-working of Trek, I still think Gary Sinise would have made an awesome McCoy.
Simon Pegg as Scotty - Wait. What? This is awesome!!! Tim from Spaced? Shaun from Shaun of the Dead? I love this guy! And if Scotty beats up alien zombies with a pool cue while Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now" plays on an intergalactic jukebox in the back ground? Even better.
And The Rest:
John Cho as Sulu
Zoe Saldana as Uhura
Anton Yechin as Chekov
Oh, and some little known guy called Leonard Nemoy as Older Spock - kids got a lot of talent, looks like he'll go far.
Now how about some 3D chess?
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
I Went Back Six Times and Padme's Costumes Were My Ponies.
From Wil Wheaton's Geek in Review: Han Shoots First
"Why exactly is the Star Wars trilogy such a big deal to some of us, even though it's clearly flawed, and ends with a bunch of muppets singing around the campfire? Why do so many of us love it so much? Why did so many of us take it as a personal affront when the new movies and re-releases didn't meet our expectations? Why did most of us go back twice after Phantom Menace, like we were in a dysfunctional relationship, hoping that if we just worked a little harder, we'd find a pony?"
- Wil Wheaton
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Friday, November 2, 2007
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Until We Meet Again (at Camp Blood or Haddonfield) Some Sunny Day
During this Halloween season I got into the habit of coming home from work, settling down on the bed and flipping on "Monster Vision" - the usual marathon of horror movies AMC shows during this spooky time of year. After a long hard day, I would spend my evenings relaxing with Jason Vorhees and Michael Myers. I played my computer games while, in the background, multiple teenage lives were cut short.
"Bill? (or Steve or Jamie or Brady or whoever) Is that you?"
ch-ch-ch-ch-ah-ah-ah-ah
Oh indistinguishable teenage machete fodder, it is definitely not Bill
(or Sandy or Linda or...)
This afternoon, however, I return home, flip on the tv, turn to AMC and find...
Robert Redford
Oh well, I guess another Halloween has come and left us. No more Friday the 13th. No more Halloween. No more Final Chapters or New Beginnings or Return of's/Revenge of's/Curse of's. No more wondering "Does XII mean 7?" Au revoir, Jason and Michael. Until next year boys.
I knew it couldn't last forever, but I kinda miss you...
now that you're gone.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Required Seasonal Reading
Are you at a sleep away camp?
Are there children in you cornfield?
Do you have Japanese children in you bathroom?
Does the sound of "ch...ch...ch...ah...ah...ah" follow you wherever you go?
Does music crescendo when you open a door?
Then you need this book.
Random Halloween Observations...
"The scariest thing in The Shining is when Shelley Duval finds Jack Nicholson's crazy writings"
"No, the scariest thing in The Shining is Shelley Duval."
Scary movie moment memories:
1. The Haunting: Not the remake with Catherine Zeta-Jones, but the original, black and white one. Never
underestimate creepy sound effects, atmosphere, and an eerie opening. For years, I had this vague memory as a kid of watching a b&w movie on tv where a woman was slowly climbing a staircase to hang herself. Stayed with me for a long time and finally figured out what that movie was when I was older. And I'm still filled with disappointment that they remade the movie into the horrible remake with CZJ...and the previws actually made it look good, darn it.
"No, the scariest thing in The Shining is Shelley Duval."
Scary movie moment memories:
1. The Haunting: Not the remake with Catherine Zeta-Jones, but the original, black and white one. Never
underestimate creepy sound effects, atmosphere, and an eerie opening. For years, I had this vague memory as a kid of watching a b&w movie on tv where a woman was slowly climbing a staircase to hang herself. Stayed with me for a long time and finally figured out what that movie was when I was older. And I'm still filled with disappointment that they remade the movie into the horrible remake with CZJ...and the previws actually made it look good, darn it.2. Poltergeist: First off - clowns are creepy period. In my grandmother's house was a painting of some clowns that hung in a bedroom. Lucky me, whenever we stayed the night, my sister and I got to share that bedroom. Creeeeeped me out! And then I saw this movie...to quote Bart Simpson, "Can't sleep...clowns'll eat me."
Secondly...eating chicken+mirror+maggots = me never wanting to eat chicken in the middle of the night for fear of face disintegration.
Secondly...eating chicken+mirror+maggots = me never wanting to eat chicken in the middle of the night for fear of face disintegration.
3. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory: Nice movie. Cute songs. Candy = good! Wow, that factory sure looks neat! Look, you can get cream out of those mushroom tops! Hey, cool...it's a boat!Wait....
To quote the commentators from Bravo's 100 Scariest Movie Moments - "Then the movie takes a HARD left turn!"
4. Nightmare on Elm Street (and various sequels) - Truth in advertising...I had nightmares alright.
5. Halloween: Yeah, nothing happens for the majority of the movie. Yes, she's an idiot for throwing the knife away...twice. And yes, PJ Soles as Linda is annoying, totally. But when Michael jumps on that car when escaping from the institution...I jumped...and screamed.
Man, Linda was annoying!
6.Jaws: My most favorite movie ever...loved it since I was eight years old. Dad popped it into the video cassette recorder, I got waaay up close to the TV...and jumped waaaay back when the head popped out of the whole in the boat!7. Alien and Aliens: Alien was the first movie I remember my Dad recorded off of TV via our brand new, top-loading, cutting edge VCR circa 1980/81. Remember how the title credit slowly fades in letter by letter? No wide screen movie on HBO that time...even at 4 or 5 I remember thinking, "lliel...that doesn't make sense!"
Aliens I was old enough to see in the theater with my mom...first movie I remember watching through my fingers.
Aliens I was old enough to see in the theater with my mom...first movie I remember watching through my fingers.
In conclusion, blood and gore may scare some people, but for more eeriness and foreboding creep me out more...and clowns, don't forget clowns.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Booksmith: It's a Small World After All
A nice article my friend wrote about the anniversary of Disney World's opening.
Booksmith: It's a Small World After All
Booksmith: It's a Small World After All
Who's the nerd now?
I just got Wil Wheaton's new book The Happiest Days of Our Lives (which is great, funny, and very entertaining btw). One of the chapters in the book is about how when he was a young boy,he took a trip to K-Mart and tried to decide which Star Wars toy to buy. After reading about his internal struggle over whether to save his money for the Millennium Falcon or to buy an action figure immediately for the sweet thrill of instant gratification (oh sweet, sweet instant gratification - itunes satisfies me too much in that department), it got me thinking of my brother's old Star Wars toys.
My younger brother was born in 1980 and I in 1976. While I was happy with my Barbies, he was happy with his Star Wars and He-Man action figures (he was also happy cutting, burning, drawing on, and generally mutilating my Barbies). He was only 3 when Return of the Jedi came out, so most of his toys were from that film but he had a few older Star Wars toys as well.
-I remember how even at 7 years old how I knew that A New Hope Han Solo's head looked nothing like Harrison Ford.
-I remember how the brown paint on Bousch (sp? whatever...not gonna look up the spelling) Leia's head had a rubbed out spot on the back.
-I remember the flimsy poncho on Endor Rebel Leia and how her helmet would never stay on.
-I remember my brother's Ewok village playset, Jabba's Palace and Jabba's creepy little....ummm, monkey?
-I remember his Darth Vader carrying case and how when you turned R2D2's head
a little antenna would pop-up.
-I remember Squid Guy, Skiff Guard Lando, and the cracking sound when you opened the X-Wing Fighter's wings by hand (I think you were really supposed to push R2's head but that detail is kind of fuzzy).
-I remember one of my Barbies had a red, satin dress.
Which list is longer?
My brother was the one who had a Darth Vader cake for his third birthday. My brother is the one who dressed up as Darth Vader (using Dad's black gardening gloves, a vampire cape, and a store bought Vader mask) for a couple of Halloweens.
But who has the re-release poster of A New Hope up in her apartment now? Who has the mini-lightsabers from Master Replica? Who freaked when her cat knocked over her "Leia as Boushh" (fine...I looked it up, happy?) bust? And who glued that statue back together?
And who called her father tonight and asked if he still had her brother's old Star Wars toys in the closet?
Well, I'll give you a hint...it wasn't my sister ;-)
My younger brother was born in 1980 and I in 1976. While I was happy with my Barbies, he was happy with his Star Wars and He-Man action figures (he was also happy cutting, burning, drawing on, and generally mutilating my Barbies). He was only 3 when Return of the Jedi came out, so most of his toys were from that film but he had a few older Star Wars toys as well.
-I remember how even at 7 years old how I knew that A New Hope Han Solo's head looked nothing like Harrison Ford.
-I remember how the brown paint on Bousch (sp? whatever...not gonna look up the spelling) Leia's head had a rubbed out spot on the back.
-I remember the flimsy poncho on Endor Rebel Leia and how her helmet would never stay on.
-I remember my brother's Ewok village playset, Jabba's Palace and Jabba's creepy little....ummm, monkey?
-I remember his Darth Vader carrying case and how when you turned R2D2's head
a little antenna would pop-up.
-I remember Squid Guy, Skiff Guard Lando, and the cracking sound when you opened the X-Wing Fighter's wings by hand (I think you were really supposed to push R2's head but that detail is kind of fuzzy).
-I remember one of my Barbies had a red, satin dress.
Which list is longer?
My brother was the one who had a Darth Vader cake for his third birthday. My brother is the one who dressed up as Darth Vader (using Dad's black gardening gloves, a vampire cape, and a store bought Vader mask) for a couple of Halloweens.
But who has the re-release poster of A New Hope up in her apartment now? Who has the mini-lightsabers from Master Replica? Who freaked when her cat knocked over her "Leia as Boushh" (fine...I looked it up, happy?) bust? And who glued that statue back together?
And who called her father tonight and asked if he still had her brother's old Star Wars toys in the closet?
Well, I'll give you a hint...it wasn't my sister ;-)
Evil Dead: The Musical - In Celebration of Halloween - 3 videos featuring songs from the show
Well, I was going to upoad the songs myself, but other people already did the work for me.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Drugs are bad, mmmmmmmmm'kay?
Talking to a 10 year old today....she said it was "Red Ribbon week" at school where the kids learn about drugs, why they are bad, and pledge to be "drug free".
She told me that drugs are bad "because they smell."
Ok?
So the lesson is, kids, don't do drugs because they smell.
Now I'm off to put on my gas mask and take my zoloft (with an advil chaser).
Monday, October 22, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
She goes up to 11...
For every Taylor Hicks of American Idol or Next Top Model on America's Next Top Model, occasionally an interesting, talented person becomes a little better known thanks to Reality TV. One that came to my attention some time ago was Storm Large on CBS's Rockstar (the one where Tommy Lee, that guy from Guns N' Roses and the drummer from Metallica tried to find a lead singer for their new "band"). Storm didn't win (which was probably good for her if the success of the "band" is anything to go by), but imo she was the most talented person on that program - she has a great voice, strong stage presence, and a terrific sense of humor. She's also the only one on that show whose music I'd be willing to actually pay money for (in fact I did...some of her stuff is on itunes - be sure to check it out). There are also different pages on the web that you can download some songs (including live performances). Here's a good one: http://www.stormdownloads.com/index.htm
Hey, anyone who can do a mashup of an Abba song and that one by Iron Butterfly (I'm not even gonna try and spell it) and make it sound good is pretty awesome! (SEE VIDEO ABOVE)
Hey, anyone who can do a mashup of an Abba song and that one by Iron Butterfly (I'm not even gonna try and spell it) and make it sound good is pretty awesome! (SEE VIDEO ABOVE)
Thursday, October 18, 2007
O Captain, My Captain
Sometimes I worry about this country, but I sense salvation is on the way...well, at least for South Carolina anyway.
I Miss the "Whammys"
Remember when you were a kid and you were home sick from school? Ok, you felt miserable, but there was entertaining tv on....it was the era of morning game shows! We had Sale of the Century, Concentration, Card Sharks, Press Your Luck (a favorite of mine - "NO WHAMMYS!!!), and The 25,000 Dollar Pyramid - which later became The 100,000 Dollar Pyramid ( damn inflation!).
Well, today I had off from work. Long story short...I just spent 5 minutes watching them talk about toilets on The View.
I weep for today's youth. I think I'm gonna flip over to see how Drew Carey's doing hosting The Price is Right.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Me and THEM
In the Ideal World:
Them: Hey, noticed on the schedule you e-mailed us on Monday that you had our meeting down for Wednesday. Just wanted you let you know that it's not on Wednesday but Tuesday.
Me: Well, thank you for letting me know my mistake. That's very thoughtful! Boy, I sure would feel like an idiot if I showed up on the wrong day... not to mention the hour drive I would have done for nothing.
Them: Yeah (sympathetic chuckle). No problem.
In the Real World:
Me: I'm here for the meeting!
Them: The meeting was yesterday.
Me: But...but I when I sent in my schedule...the schedule you insist on me sending you every week even when things don't usually change...I wrote in that the meeting was today. Didn't you notice?
Them: Yeah, we never really read those...
Fuck Them
Them: Hey, noticed on the schedule you e-mailed us on Monday that you had our meeting down for Wednesday. Just wanted you let you know that it's not on Wednesday but Tuesday.
Me: Well, thank you for letting me know my mistake. That's very thoughtful! Boy, I sure would feel like an idiot if I showed up on the wrong day... not to mention the hour drive I would have done for nothing.
Them: Yeah (sympathetic chuckle). No problem.
In the Real World:
Me: I'm here for the meeting!
Them: The meeting was yesterday.
Me: But...but I when I sent in my schedule...the schedule you insist on me sending you every week even when things don't usually change...I wrote in that the meeting was today. Didn't you notice?
Them: Yeah, we never really read those...
Fuck Them
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